Thinking about the rise of divine Feminine there are many things that I have noticed in myself and the rest of the culture of men that repulse women.

In the past the idea of a man overpowering a woman and neglecting her has become prevalent to the point where women are used to produce a sort of substance that is the physical gift of love. This is the earning or scheming to get physical love that only last for as long as memory serves and needs to be replenished over time. It has gotten to a point where women can be paid for love or have it taken from them by force.

There are many schemes in which love is used to produce monetary income from the age old profession that is the prostitute to using their beauty to lull in for a ruse.

I have found a cancer I have contracted from social doctrine in myself that stems from agreeing to its norms such as the hunt for love.

I reject its compounds but it seems to be a quite a big deal – love cannot be forced so it has become a matter of knowing the other in the first impression that will last. So what happens there is crucial for the rest of the relationship. Which repulses me even more is that we have to buy time with one another on the hope that something might come of it. Money is invested in a hope and often squandered and misused.

Rules are set up like kissing on the third date or only going out after 3 months when the initial chat is over. All of this contributes to an abnormal monetization of love where the effect that a man brings to the party has to be potent or not too potent, but leave a lasting impression so that the relationship can move on in an efficient way.

The male brain has to consider this when dating and it becomes no wonder that most loves are found outside of monetary plans such as this. Inevitably strategies have to be made as there is no socially promoted path to finding love.

It has been manipulated always, down to organised marriages so that there is no shame nor doubt that partners will be found. It’s a massive problem that has women selling themselves as wives to rich men.

I see there is a heavy materialistic aspect to a woman and what she brings to a mans life – status, confidence and reliability. She has become a symbol that can be achieved through coaxing the world.

What I also see is women suffering from this typical behaviour in men when engaging in contact with one another. Always on the lookout for danger as if they were prey and to my surprise the man often has an offensive approach to form the term: “player”.

Its unnatural this sort of hunting we live in and its difficult to explain to someone that all their doing and have been brought up to do is wrong – gone are the days where true love can only be found when going deep into oneself and become the person the other half needs.

Todays love is a string of failed tries until one sticks where the conditions are comfortable for both parties – a seemingly naïve and shallow kind of love that is based on similar needs and wants.

We want the shell of love but not what it means for our lives. A sort of dopamine rush that comes from the transitional good elements so that we can live off of memory of those events through the bad parts. Hereby clinging to that state we do not have to change, keeping alive the negativity within ourselves but gaining a partner that is free to do the same.

There is little growth in such a relationship and its nature is so shallow that its barely the surface that moves. Only the outside counts. Victory over solemnity and its negative aspects.

I shall carry on dissolving this corruption within myself, by finding every ounce of doctrine that I might be a slave to to free myself of this unfree view of love manipulation. It goes by unnoticed but now that I have identified this foul infection I wont rest until the illness is over.

This false part of self reminds me of war – an ongoing onslaught on the heart that must be put an end to. For I believe that one has to genuinely earn honestly in order to live properly instead of these promised half lives. “get a girlfriend” as if its orchestrated and manipulatable act of hauling a woman into ones own home.

It runs deeper in my opinion and has a lot to do with self love and cultivating understanding instead of how well you do at lifes tasks.