Having gone over the limit it seems, I have discovered things inside me I am daunted by. I now realize what I’ve known all my life once people told me meditation was evil. You unlock doors that can never be closed again, yet feel relieved that you did so.

People with especially violent lives therefore have very evil things to deal with when they meditate – if you never go full circle and reach a very enlightened state that calms every sense you have so that you may feel satisfied with living you might end up in a spiral of violent lives that don’t have apexes of enlightenment that relieve you of your stresses.

You have to come to terms with life and settle for something livable. There are many worlds out there that you can live your dreams on, but you have to notice when your shadow, that your often blind to, is blocking you from peace.

Seek peace and stability in your being until you find balance and content and strive to achieve that.

The mind that is not satisfied with what it has will continue searching until it finally has enough and realizes this. There is a limit to everything and sooner or later you will notice patterns or loops that keep you unsatisfied.

You can never see in front of a step you haven’t taken, so be bold and go through with where your mind spirit and heart lead you. It takes courage to become balanced so that you may find peace.

Its not a matter of finding a certain space or vibe, but a balance point in your heart that determines whether you have found an adequate living space in which you can unfold.

The longevity of your living space is determined by how much potential you have in it to grow and you will stay there until your cycle ends and you move on.

Its like going over stuff you know until you find a scape you can grow in almost indefinitely. There are spaces in the multiverse that preserve peace within a specific outline so that t can be experienced.

Earth is the playground for learning because all the levels are present. Look for what you will and you will find evidence of it on earth. We are all trying to come into harmony with all of this going on while I’m sure beings on distant planets only have a fraction of the concerns we have on earth to face.

Therefore be glad that you have a life to live here in this learning pool that is slowly balancing out. Yet know that this performance is an example of all that can be wrong with the world playing out at the same time on the same planet.

So its no wonder if you are overwhelmed and seek to hide in your delusions for safety from the fray – we all do it unconsciously and we all have to learn to wield what this world offers every day.

In many ways the more I think about it this life is more than I can handle but I don’t want to come back because I did not fulfil my missions. I want to learn everything I can from this experience and take everything I have learned with me when I die and go somewhere more quiet and organised.

Having no choice but to meditate on and reach fulfilment I will find a new balance that I can harmonize with and grow in for the next periods in my life. Living as though your on eggshells and without a floor beneath you all the time is tiresome and feels as though you need to reinvent yourself constantly to fit every day. I feel as though my time on earth is training me to be able to deal with nearly anything. I have faced so much trauma that I am saturated with it – meditation is bringing me closer to my goal, but more than that it’s the adjustment to the nature of this realm that gives me most joy. Just taking in the energies that this space has to offer lets me assimilate into a being that is more versatile and flexible.

Getting the hang of moving through darker sides of me is relieving stress and making me retreat into my core more and more.

Life has become more complex than I had formerly known it to be and I am starting to respect the souls that have spent so much time here.

I don’t know how much more I have to dig but today I reached the end of a massive rabbit hole. My mind feels full and my body is telling me to rest and stop reflecting so much. That drive to reach the end has subsided and I think I might be able to harmonize from now on. Ever deploying detachment and objectivity to not let things touch me too seriously, while also understanding the ins and outs of situations and challenges.

I shall employ mindfulness and compassion as my primary “weapons” in the oncoming “battles”!