Being a part of my life, I find myself in this state quite often – the act of making sense of things, while sort of feel as though I were procrastinating or being distracted.
It has a somewhat confused taint to it, but something within me tells me I need to go through it until I may live a greater clarity on subjects.
Seemingly aimless I feel at times, yet I have grown up with a lot of this in my life. There are so many areas that invoke this type of state in me that partially I sense that I have always been meandering into certain directions.
Now and then, unnoticeably, I realize that the amount of pressure I experience when doing this lessens.
Innately I think we all meander at times and sadly this act most probably is likened to stupidity or confusion.
It’s not as deep as those two, and has something magical to it. A softer way of expressing the process of solidifying perception along with attitude it is – lending you more leeway to feel comfortable in this nearly unnerving state that culminates in greater self confidence once your out of it.
Meandering conjures up images of fog around dim light on a marsh in me sometimes and when I feel better it’s a meadow shone unto with a great floodlight.
I get the sense of being in twilight or that beautiful time before the proper sunrise.
Energies are gathering in preparation for something greater. Doing the necessary work that is swept under the rug once it can be named dawn confidently.
Likening it to seasons I imagine it to be the ending of winter or to tasks – it would be the middle, before one gets giddy from seeing the end in further sight.
The topic also reminds me of a boring time where I feel prone to waste time on deflectively not having to meander all too much to bide time for when the entire act is more rewarding.
Unfortunately, there is a lack of motivation when we cannot be so hopeful of the future, sort of just going along until circumstances improve.
Awareness of being in this period I think it offers a lot of possibility for constructive reflection – a space in which one can truly work on foundations and other details that often slip through the cracks.
All in all I like meandering, but it falls into a drawer in my consciousness that has a big lack of excitement. It’s difficult for me to be jovial when I’m feeling as though I am between nowhere and somewhere – not really knowledgeable of how to get those bearings.
None the less – I have gained a better understanding of being content in such times. Also, have I gained, the knowing of always being in place where I am – in a slow movement toward goals and accomplishment.
Finally being able to put my finger on it better – now I will no longer discredit this movement so much.
It will always be difficult to wrap my head around these scenarios, yet at least now I can rest more easily.
Forever I will be astounded by the ones that have mastered meandering, but there is something within that tells me I have improved enough on this subject for now – better not get lost in this desolate plane.
Do not attempt to fix what is not broken.