Red light coming from the corner of the room; eyelids opening sluggishly – feels like I don’t have enough blood circulating to power all the centres of my body. This drunken wake up state seems to be lasting forever, getting up to a cripple’s crawl towards the light seems like the worst idea but I do it anyway – I have to know where in hell I’ve landed now.
More markings on the walls; I feel ripples and carved ridges in the cold stone floor – they seem to be everywhere. In columns of simple pictures and signs. Hieroglyphics that seem to contain the meaning for the deathly aura in this corridor. Escaping the last horrific world has flung me into the next one. Great; let’s see how things go this time, the stench reminds of murder so far.
Anger won’t help my situation, although it seems to be dwelling here. Destination in sight I creep closer and notice I’m not the only thing moving at this slow pace. Footsteps by my ear.
“Thinking of me?”
I turn to face my next enemy in shock and surprise. The clack of a shoe with wooden soles on the stone surface and a squeak from a turn later I find out what unbearable pain is. My vision dies and all I find myself doing is coughing my heart out, blood and spit dotting rock bottom. Regaining eyesight I’m welcomed with the view of the bloodstained path I have made from the door. Clutching my stomach in the foetal position I have no other choice but to look up in anticipation of the next blow to my dignity.
“You’ve landed in the wrong place, haha, I’m going to drain all you have left. Sorry to disappoint; but this place isn’t any better than the one you’re from. In fact; you’re it’s perfect product. Scared and mutilated to the perfect qualifications, I almost have no more work left to do – all that’s left is enjoyment. And I’m going to enjoy this, hahaha. Try to get ready for life on the cusp of death.”
The numb sensation before the inevitable pain is what I concentrate on as his foot connects with the side of my face. Pain is merely an impulse sent to my brain; an involuntary, unwelcomed thought that has forced its way into existence.
“One you can get used to while you’re here. You are my possession, you and your thoughts. There are no free minds here, and yours won’t be either once I’m done with it.”
The tug on my clothing restricts my breathing as I get dragged along this putrid path. No more energy to fight I surrenderingly look up at my oppressor. A black suite conceals and strong short horns insinuate. Demon spawn. Demons pawn.
I try voicing my confusion but find the bloody words too hard to swallow. As my suffering existence is dragged up a never ending flight of stairs, what’s left of my vision perceives the spiral we are moving in, an endless stare into a red abyss. Torches marooning my vision, this place screams murderous violence and the revel thereof.
A playground for damaged souls seeking to become even more deprived. Screaming death lives here and hates digging its own grave while being enslaved to it. The game is to kill as much before being inevitably killed and basking in all its depravity. There is no survival – it’s all just a road towards the end. Escape is but the start of the next hell.
I choke on some blood; cringing, my shoulder gets caught on one of the spiralling steps and my lungs lose all control. As I lay dying the demon chuckles and says: Don’t worry – down here we make sure you stay alive longer than this. Maximum abuse haha.
I feel his conscience lift from mine as his condescension overcomes his perception of possible threat.
Great underestimation my friend.
Thoughts geared down as I unconsciously, instinctively and mentally prepare for whatever I’m in for:
– Opportunities arise when needed, and this is one of them.
– There is nothing more powerful than an idea whose time has come, and this is one of them.
– My destiny does not incorporate being murdered in cold blood by imbeciles in search of some petty fun.
– My life depends on this outcome and I’m not willing to let it go.
And with that last thought forced into reality I felt a powerful grip on my sanity, as if there was pressure trying to form from within my conscious foundation. Intuitively I put up a wall of deception against the intruder; a pretend wall of mental fatigue, of brokenness and threatlessness in case it were my oppressor – you’re not fooling me again.
My conscience is recuperating while you bask in your shallow victory. And when you come for the rest of me you will find the force of your own world crashing down on you with no remorse nor care for your existence. Your own dream embodied – with me as its sudden end.
I felt sudden muscle spasms and a lightening of my conscience, a freeing feeling of clarity with a voice that whispered: Come over to the dark place, the one down the stairs of your mind. Your heart first – and then your mind. And clarity within darkness you will find. You will find you strength flow when you need it to, but for now there is much bleeding due.
The unexpected breath of life kissed my lips goodbye to release me back into intoxicating anguish and frightful distaste. Laced with unbearable suffering.
I cried out in pain and swore as I hit the floor of a plateau we had reached. Hells guard that found me opened a door that was to the left side of me. With my head facing the room I could see him speak to other figures in the distance, probably starting up negotiations of what they have planned with my existence. They can go fuck themselves.
I think these morons are buying my consciences disguise.
Although my wounds are wearing my outer shell down, this inner being that is me will not be switched off.
I watch the guard come over to drag me inside – his claws grabbing at my clothing like I were a meaningless sack of goods. Your deeds will not go unpunished.
A smile on my face within all this darkness, a grin for what’s to come and a glint of malicious intent in my eye. The last expression before the greatest piece of acting I will ever do – the last dance of goodbye to pretend and the inevitable final start of being. After this I will be fully equipped and ready for this world and all it has to throw at me – just like I always have been and always will be.
My sensations violently let me know the acting has begun. I Crash into a stone seat, ripples of numbing pain shooting from my back, shoulders and head. My ears are ringing and my skin is left with the cold hard sensation of smooth blocks of granite that are mortared into a throne for slaves.
I feel my arms being strapped into the chair so that my hands reach the stones forming the end of my armrests. The room is stone clad and looks like the dungeon this is. In front of me I perceive a table that is facing me perpendicularly, with three figures sitting with their backs towards the wall and one on each end towards both my left and right.
The room felt like it was pulsating to the rhythm of thousands of tortured souls slaving until the ends of time. It was bouncing off the walls. This place is where you end up when everything has gone wrong – far from rock bottom, but getting there fast. I have to get out.
The figures are talking, clad in empowering colours with violent undertones – Hell’s waiting room, with all its figures and intimidating masks. They seem to be discussing what they’ll do with me, if their smart they’ll probably want to make sure my mind is broken. They have no idea.
I feel my core temperature rise, within my bones a strength begins to resonate – as if the structure would solidify and begin to vibrate in slow unison. A spreading of fundamental restructuring throughout my entire body – backbone for what’s to come. The last addition in motivation:
The figure exactly in front of me, sitting at the centre of the table stood up and released these words from its mouth:
Your miserable existence has been discussed and we have reached the conclusion that with or without your consent we will take control of your surroundings – confining you to what we have created for you: a world built around our wills and no other! And a world that shall stay in command of us until we never release it.
Unluckily for you my friend we do not share our command and you will have to repeatedly die for our sins and we will have you reincarnate to do the same for us again and again. The seeming dream you have stumbled into is much worse than you thought just now didn’t you? And its getting worse continually isn’t it? Be warned my friend this is no game we have not played.
And there it was – the challenge. To rise above, or below.
A flood of whitely golden energy rushed from my heart centre into my body, over spilling into the rock chair I was sitting in. The mortar crumbled and the two granites pieces at the palms of my hands were now the weapons of my destruction. Red energy was now washing over me with potent ferocity, I could feel the palms of my hands burn and emanate a crimson glow.
Thoughtlessly I launched myself into my assailants direction. With the force of all the anger within me and the might of all that I am the rock in my right hand left me. Crushing the speakers face into the corner between floor and wall. From midair I land with a few steps, regaining balance in order to – Jump! Onto the table, bash the enemies head in with full force of the left arm, transfer bloody rock to right hand and release the power of an avalanches strength on adjacent target’s head.
Corpses now dripping from a table surrounded by surprised eyes.
“Didn’t think this would happen did you??” My eyes now overflowing with rage and violent intent. “You vile infectious parasites to the universe should rot in the hells you created and die with them. You wretches deserve every bit that’s coming to you.”
As I flung my weapon of mass murder into the guards face, there was no more mercy in my eyes. These controllers of so many, no matter to what degree must be removed from power. I might be poking a giant, but when he comes for me I’ll be ready. This battle I will not lose.
The remaining two assailants were running for weapons stashed close by. A long way to walk in these last split seconds I gave them to live. A mace was close by on the floor – my second kill didn’t have enough time to swing.
Armed and ready I run towards their deaths, encountering the swing of a sword to my head that I block off smashing the weapon to the left and returning the force towards his shoulder and then ramming the hilt of my mace into his back. His head provides a good foothold as I crash his skull into the floor while landing the clubbed end of steel on my mace on the last victims collarbone. Crushing his ribcage with him sinking to his knees.
Last gasps and groaning fall silent.
My heart is still on overdrive and I’m breathing heavily, too bad for them – their hearts are now stationary and their breathing as shallow as their conscience.
Their blood spilt for my greater good and a few others I presume as well, I feel looting the place would only be fair considering what plans they had for ‘my existence’. Demonic apparitions with slanted eyes, almost humanoid, despite sharp teeth like those of sharks’ and a second smaller set of eyes blankly peering into nothingness. These bodies will not be missed, but will be discovered soon.
I feel my bodies pace drop closer to normality, yet so far from reality. As I search for anything useable amoung the corpses – I find and put on a black robe, fling a pouch around my back and discover a water canister, that looks more like a whiskey bottle. Steel made and filled with liquor, just what I need. I grab whatever edible things I can find on the table and move to the door.
Heavy air instils no more angst in me than I had a second ago – seems the coast is clear. I cram the food in my hands down my throat and pack the pouch with what will fit from the table. Scoundrels food is food too I guess. A dagger up my sleeve and another in my robe. Hail to the thief and glory to the victor. A glass of wine in a gulp and to the shadows I shall run, someone once said: When you’re going through hell – keep going, and so I went.
As I exit the door I was dragged into before and enter the dark side of the steps in the shade, my thoughts echo:
“Go downstairs of your mind.. – and clarity within darkness you will find.”
Faith has served me well, all the more reason to foster it. Back to the vortex of stairs spiralling downward, seemingly deserted if not for the occasional scream and the slamming of a heavy wooden door, and the quiet whispers one hears, stemming from all the insanity just beneath the surface of this eerie death filled aura this place has. My activities seem to have gone unnoticed and as long as I stay from the light and outside earshot my departure from this hole in the ground will be quick and painless. For their sakes. What have I become in such a short time?
Why this dream started and how I got here I do not know, and what is to come can only be more intriguing. An explanation would be helpful, exploring the darkness of my heart seemed to be the quest achieved, the quest for liberation from confusion the one at hand and the proof of courage the one that will guide me onward. This world seems to be harsh and unforgiving, but strangely the tools for survival are there to find.
Comfortably hovering on the brink of destruction, evasion will be the next key if I ever want to get out of this place. Downstairs, slipping down the shadows, alongside my spilt blood, dripping down the stairs in the grooves cut to form an ever flowing river of blood. This brutal empire will regret having let me slip away once they learn of my past presence.