To describe what I mean by the title, lets start by saying that there is a certain point that clicks in the mind when achieving something, like a completion realization. And because of this we seem to seek out to succeed in the endeavour of finding love (or any other form of success) and be completely enveloped by it.
The questions this poses to me is: how do we find love that has nothing to do with entrapment? When do we know when we are living this, and how does the story go on?
For one; we do not wish to be caught in a world we cannot escape – when pursuing freedom in life the ultimate fear is being trapped in a field that you cannot triumph over. We endeavour to be boundless while safe, and in my opinion, the only way to do so is to pick and choose which things and by whom you wish to be entrapped by.
Wilfully saying yes to certain circumstances puts the choice back into our hands and we can from thereon out control how things work out. The opposite scenario has us fear the entrapment and we sooner or later succumb to it unless we destroy it.
It feels to me as though I have been fighting most of my way – destroying and getting destroyed. It hurts.
There are many times I can recall that has not felt like I was being truly honest with myself – as if I had not listened to the doubts because they were just too depressing. Also incapable of grasping my situation and then going along with the learning motion to gain experience. It has done good to reflect through difficult circumstances and I would do it again, for we learn the most through our faults.
People say love is like an encompassing wave, and I would agree – many times I have felt this and followed it and many times I have been crushed by exactly this wave. What has precipitated is that I have learned that if I want to “achieve” being in love I need to be able to swim with the current and sustain along with someone that is willing to swim with me. On top of that, I have to not steal willpower and instead gift it, so that my partner may feel free in exactly the way I wish to provide a wholistic lovescape for her.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I wish to keep free will in place while still being a pivotal role in her life – coincidentally and simply not skewing her, but bestowing the freedom I also seek in love.
The old words of love something freely and let it go – if it comes back its yours, ring true to me and I predict true love is an endless dance of this line. Somehow building a relationship that gains in trust each wave.
Coming back to entrapment – the dream of trapping someone in your love is frivolling, because it is precisely what you do not wish: two lovers stuck in each others hands, somehow not enjoying the moment and procrastinating the inevitable break-up. We want to renew each other and add to each others happiness in a fleeting dance that is romance – so that we stay youthful and enticed.
It is a high bar, but my naïve mind does not produce any lower, or more realistic visions currently. We dare to dream, and dream of daring our loved ones into greater versions of peace so that we may share it.
So the cycle goes on forever as we swing up invisible ladders into the sky of our imagination.