After a dimensional change into ease a hanging space in a colourful void speaks to me upon arrival.

It informs me of my spiritual place between a basic nowhere and somewhere, somehow inbetween worlds where threat is impossible to be present and comfortable focus is all that is needed.

So it is best to get the feel, relax into it so I can start.

It takes some getting used to, as my survival instinct takes a back seat and fight/flight somehow falters into a place that feels as though I am neatly tucked away in a blanket on my couch by a caring girlfriend that just wants me to get better.

My mind jolts into an enthusiastic and stimulating state that I have missed and searched for eversince I lost it along the road.

This is what that void in me is. Challenging yet balanced in ways I could only imagine and dream of.

The entire process of easing take me a while, but as the spiritual guide awaits my return to what he calls sanity I am cautioned and motioned to starting the trial.

With sensitivity and compassion he tells me there is a big list I can fulfil in order to catch up on what I have been neglecting.

Among the positives it is included that my heart is in the right spot, yet how I go about things is often seen as presumptuous, idealistic and requiring effort that is unfeasible. In effect overpowering others, ensueing trustbreaks, disbelief, mistrust, implications of deceit or general unknowing of what the agenda is.

All of which are in natural values, yet as always there is room for improvement. Facts that help me are: we cannot pinpoint the motives of individuals right away, trust is earned and taught through proof of action and realization of promises.

A knack I seem to have is to thwart others, disregarding them to a degree and take my own way. Yet doing more or less of this needs to be gauged individually and timing can be better.

Also clarity is something I can work on. Communication is a dire necessity. Yet what is more persuasive to me is sacrificing the time to explain for action in the correct direction.

What is analysed is that my mind is perpetually geared up to get the greatest good for all at all cost.

I am advised that I need to take things easy, time is endless and we have endless time, so downsizing ideals to achieving a mix between transitional actions and ending actions within a limit that does not incur harm when making ends meet properly is ultimately more efficient in the long run.

An overall slow down is required which sees me not hurtling toward the end of things at a break-neck pace, which kind of unnerves me. The reward of arriving at what I see as the last end in my imagination is what I am generally after and while no-one else can see what I am after its more like a feeling than an ideal.

A general quality of life improvement that sees me fine overall while being comfortably nestled in a sphere.

“The irony,” the spirit mentions” is that it much like a place in yor mind you need to align with – so it already there.”

Something I am perpetually aware of. Possibly the source of my frustration – if all my dreams are true somewhere I might aswel get there without taking prisoners.

It dawns on me that it is unrealistic to be this way in the long run, so it is no wonder that I had to rest so deeply.

The thinking is taking too much of a toll and the spirit lets me know kindly that it is time to let go of the pain. Trade it for comfortable pain, because pain is what I am used to biologically, so replacing it with a drive I enjoy is his best course of action.

I am made aware of striking facts that somehow soothe the longing for compellment. This broadens my mind with new irritation almost distracting me from what I was used to.

It does not take me long to be completely lulled into this jostling state of freshness and milestones are revealed to me.

I will go through jorneys of the mind, each giving me the training to escape better or trade better. All in all making my mind more capable of dealing with new and sorting out the old creatively instead of bitterly.

Bitterness festers and grows while there is no solution. So might aswel focus on other facets, letting it be refreshed by optimism.