I needed rest and my sofa was the place to get it. Within an instant of thinking that in the cave the world around me started crumbling – divine and evil visions flooded my brain at once and in that instant I had regained material to ponder on.

I appeared where I wanted to be under a blanket by a fireplace and felt immeasurably guilty that I had mastered a part of this plane.

I felt bad that I had the pleasure of getting everything I needed in an instantaneous moment and wondered whether my efforts of churning would see me fall into deeper dark holes, much like before – living hell day in and day out.

It took energy I summoned from what must be the aether to not succumb to terror just outside the door where the blood ran down the stairs at all times.

It took grit to walk though every door, sometimes not knowing what was on the other side.

It took courage to face foes and stamina to not kill myself over and over again in a meaningless act of depression and desperation.

The more I pondered beside that fire the more I felt my self esteem realize itself to be justified.

Eventhough my acts of communication with Leeza were at times that of nostalgic turmoil I felt as though I deserved her more now. Now that I had reached some ethereal place in my life I cannot name or pinpoint.

It was in the space that is airy and without distinct form that I find freedom – as if every direction is a possibility and all I have to do is shape my visions into a focused and dedicated path.

In the morning I let out a cry to Leeza after a long rest with vivid dreams from before in Izuh’goll.

Concerned she replied: “Do not fear, I have answers – find and enter the clan “Reciprocate”