Having broken inside, I need to rebuild myself.

I summon all the optimism within me and realize that there is no way out besides a slow churning that will hopefully and eventually let me be rid of this place. I don’t know how to succeed, like before, all my self-confidence has been taken from me and the demoralization is strong.

Yet I will prevail!

The best plan is to get my bearings. Finding a room that’s not too bad and a door with a good food source for now will be a stepping stone.

Meditation whenever I can muster it and just somehow working through the paranoia around my abysmal state…

A week of this passes and I feel a bit better. I am not doing well, but I have made progress – the stairs make me tired when I try to grasp more power than I can manage, so I think there is more to work through in undiscovered doors.

About a month probably goes by of working on bare essentials, the frustration is still there – but I feel better about myself.

I have grown accustomed to this place somewhat and I think the key is diligent work on self.

The doors I went through had these mental markings on objects I would pick up or see and recognize – an eerie world where the missions completions are these ethereal finalizing notions that have made me think that if I find enough of them I get to greater levels.

Its like self-improvement on basic things is what I am supposed to do.

Getting over the uncared for aspects of my lesser values.

What a chore…

Until I find another way this is what I am stuck with so for now its all I can do.

Spirit work here we are.