It has long been nothing new to me that this world is in part a reflection of myself, this dark tower that holds me captive must be teaching me to rise to a new level.
It seems that at its core its will to survive rests within keeping that darkness alive for as long as plausible to all its inhabitants.
This means that I must not be the only one here – every other soul I meet is somehow linked to this conundrum and we are all trying to free ourselves from its grasp.
For this reason a blossoming intent has awakened within me.
To journey through my own shadow into what is a reality I can live with.
It has become apparent to me that I cannot live within precisely white light at all times – as idealism would have it.
The irony is that eventhough the pinnacle is white – for that is the highest good – philosophy dictates that logic supercedes a minds biology to realize that the world is not a blank sheet at all times – yet something which constantly shifting in hues.
The world around me changed and so did my mind. It has been a slow walk from a freedom to another one.
The adherence to my own blackness, within it the will to give it the benefit of the doubt at every point has left me.
My goal was it to see beyond and here, atop a brown mountain I sit cross legged with a ways behind me.
In front I gaze upon the descending earth into an ocean.
It seems to spread around me at the boarder of my perception.
Lightning is cast from the heavens as dark clouds gather together in circular fashion from all sides.
The bolts seem to hit the air as all is centralized to form a jagged arc that hits me directly between the temples.
This is where I wake up in a new world brutally burning from my feet upward. The seering pain that I experience does however not cause me to run for the water, but as my mental training has proven to me, I know this world is illusion within my grasp and within me resides the knowledge that the water is far away and fear would drive me to flee. So I take hold of the power I have cultivated and embrace the flame.
If any illness will be overcome by a body then I have the strength to extinguish this fire.
So by making this fire as bright as it can be I shall find out what its essence is.
Without the need to travel into darkness there is a fluid force of effortlessness that stimulates into a notion that is so primal in me that I start to feel these flames begin to become me.
Unifying with the fire it flares up and through clever stimulus I reach its apex and my spirit engulfed in purification starts to embody the element.
For biology alone has saved me here as this plane of existence is within my control to degrees I have not known before – so it is that I have become aware of benevolence I can exert onto the world around me.
Through notions that have merely been impossibilities before I know now that I can overcome this world.
It is a key which I dearly need to hone – for without it I shall never reach an end.
Questions arise, and doubt of the reality I am facing gives rise to new found stabilities I need to perfect in my being in order to overcome whatever obstacles I need to traverse.
I feel a grey horizon approaching.
As reflection will have it this etherial plane that seems like a layer now is about to wage its vengeance unto me.
For if one angers the powers that be with confrontation one pays the price.
No being pierces the veil without debt and eventhough it might seem as though this is me caving in unto myself, it might also be the first challenge I dare face.
Prodding the darkness to make it reveal itself.
The foot of the mountain holds a winding road I am travelling and as stones start littering my path in their heavier and heavier fashion the bare feet do not yield to those familiar feelings of too much pain.
As the darkness reaches its blackest spot in my view I stop to strengthen it to the levels I can sustain.
As I have learnt before one needs to transmute it with the will of the geist and it shall leave.
This philosophy shines bright within my core as I begin to fight it.
Visions of hands pulling me in their ways, tugging at my clothes and even scratching at my ankles overcome me.
For no reason at all my mind illuminates these hands and I can see – proving that even within the blackest night there is some form of light.
At all cost I hold on to this truth and make my light shine brighter.
Finding every vessel of strength in my being this trick seems to be doing the work and without stopping too soon I keep the illumination bright.
Smoothly the delusion leaves and hope takes over – so does the survival tactic of having a solution and adhering to it.
Gasps of joy I utter as I run into an ever enlightening world and just like I thought this world becomes a figment of my imagination.
One that with a lot of cultivation is a part of me. Something I sustain effortlessly.
My studies are proven correct at least to myself and all of the meditation that I have done leads me to believe that it is within the personal perception of weightlessness and light that I find effortlessness.
I stride into a green field that has flowers everywhere as oversealousness – my achiellies heel takes me back to that poorly lit room of mine.