As time goes on with us in its manmade grasp we get trodden and worn down, yet this leaves our mind between a rock and hard place that we get better and better escaping from.

There is always that feeling that I get, like being caught in a vice, that I land in from time to time. Frantically I wiggle myself free with action, brought on by there not being another way out. Too often have I stayed there and gotten cracked.

I fell into self destructive behaviour when the blade got turned my way, and through many battles I have learnt that I would like the worst to be the pressure.

I come to a stop when this happens and follow the best course of action I can imagine or drive myself to. Lethargy and loathing overcome me and it is difficult to see clearly. A feeling I remember from being drunk – your decisions are automated and basic instincts take over.

It starts an engine in me that makes the best of things – one I have built over the years through positive philosophy and a sore brain. It seems almost reactive when it is called on once again – transmuting my lesser emotions into responses that get me out.

This motion I get into feels like the last straw, for I suffer from my actions that depress me until I have had enough. I think my conviction over what I aught to do has much power over me and I get scared of what I think the outside world would think of me. This in turn is merely a reflection of what I think of me – which drives me to achieving contentment in my daily life.

A very complex analysis of what I go through that seems unnoticeable in others. We all have these kinds of drives that hurl us into action. We are made aware of such conclusive trains of thought in our idols when we see them perform great scenes of heroism.

I have had some good role models and I strive to emulate their deeds as best I can. Small victories add up – I have come a long way when considering how I was just 5 years ago.

Spiritual education and diligent work makes the difference, regardless of what the surface might reflect. I am learning to differentiate between what I see and think – for seeing is often believing, but I now know that feeling is learning.

We can thwart ourselves by wasting time and still yield a similar result – it just wont be as powerful as if we had worked on getting there sooner or on a different road. How we get there is up to us and how we choose to get there. The style matters individually and personally.

How you wish to achieve your goals is up to you, giving your motions your own signature.

Be sure to know that life will contort you into a form that has no choice but to start, continue or finish what you have in mind.