Oh the self-love feels great! Yet it is a trick among many smaller tricks to get into a vibe that feels right. Luckily it can only get better and with practice you know when your going over.
In so many ways I feel as though life is this massive test to get into a space of self-love once again. Somehow through countless miracles having been destroyed at some point and rebuilding to a new frontier.
The joy I find in this act fills me with enthusiasm and drive – I can’t get enough of the actions that involve rebuilding the spirit.
I want to shout from mountains: ‘I have come thus far!’ and life feels even greater than it did yesterday. Without the usual following dismay I shed that negative behaviour of bursting my own bubble. It takes practice, but I am surely getting the hang of it.
The impulses to be somehow ‘realistic’ seem to vanish as the need to dampen my spirit in this manner fades. It isn’t completely gone, yet the urge is subsiding as I consciously can feel my own rhythm.
I have the knack of falling into thinking: ‘but this is more realistic and no this is’ and so on.. but often that just gets me feeling worse instead of better. On the other hand I tend to spiral into good thoughts so much and make myself have to crash because I have had too much.
It’s a fun thing to analyse in this way, somehow getting a feel for the self without lessening self-esteem. My heart takes the biggest beating from myself – so the more I can stop that the better I feel.
Almost laughing at getting the overview its preposterous what I have been doing to myself. Imposing what I think – the world thinks, or what I think the world would want me to think and then actually being that deformity. Unrealistic and certainly leaning toward rather being high up in the sky and slowly descending than doing zig zags and loops, I find myself joyous at knowing that I must have hit some kind of milestone in self development.
You can’t burst my bubble, at least right now, Dä Nä ne ne ne….